Thursday, September 28, 2017

Sometimes it takes a crisis to appreciate a good man. #MMromance #PNR new release from @evernightpub and author Jessie Pinkham



Sometimes it takes a crisis to appreciate a good man.  
When Aldric first meets Lito, he considers the man a nuisance. As a dragon keeper for the kingdom of Corancia, he has more important tasks than answering an artist’s numerous questions about dragons.
Lito travelled to Corancia so he could observe dragons firsthand for his paintings and he’s full of questions about the magnificent creatures. His questions aren’t merely for his art, however; they arise from his deep love of dragons. When he overhears a plot by his own kingdom to eliminate the animals, he has to choose between his loyalty and his beloved dragons.

Working to prevent the extermination of dragons throws Aldric and Lito together and lust is in the air. If they’re lucky, they might end up with more than healthy dragons. It’s just possible that happily ever exists after all.  

Read a teaser 

Once the artist set down his pen, Aldric ventured to ask, “Does it take many years of training to be an artist?”
“To be a good one, yes. Particularly when it comes to the details of preparing materials and paints. However, at the risk of being outrageously bold, after the way you were looking at me I’ll be more than a touch disappointed if you are thinking only of my craft.”
It was very bold indeed, but Aldric found he liked that. “Not only, no.” He glanced down at Lito’s hands. “Your hands are nimble, and you have such control.”
Lito smiled. “Perhaps you’re wondering what else I can do with them?”
Aldric felt himself blush. “You are outrageously bold.”
“And you need not hold yourself back so much. Certainly not after I established that you aren’t the only one interested. Is everyone in the north so restrained?”
“No. I spend more time with dragons than with people.”
“We ought to do something about that,” said Lito. He reached out, placing one hand on the side of Aldric’s face. “I see no reason you can’t enjoy human company when your workday is completed.”
Aldric did not enjoy the company of just any human. Lito’s was among those he did enjoy. “I don’t know the custom for seducing a houseguest,” he confessed. “Am I supposed to offer you supper first, or take you to bed straightaway?”
Lito laughed. “I believe I’m the one seducing you. In either case, bed, please.”
Aldric took Lito to his bedroom, glad that his bedding was recently returned from the laundress. It would not do to appear slovenly.
Not that Lito paid heed to the room, as his attention was reserved for Aldric. Specifically, removing Aldric’s clothing. He made short work of it all, followed quickly by his own. Naked, they admired each other.
Aldric was not one to admire for very long when he could be touching. He ran his hand down Lito’s neck and traced the muscles on the artist’s chest, enjoying not just the feel of muscle but the way Lito reacted with quickened breath and shivering skin.
He sat on his bed and pulled Lito down so the other man was straddling his lap. This was an excellent position, which allowed for roaming hands and the thrill of their cocks bumping together. Lito also took this as time for kissing. Aldric was not always fond of the activity, but he found with Lito he quite liked it. All the more so when Lito arranged himself so their chests were together and his hands traced a roving pattern on Aldric’s back at the same time his tongue explored Aldric’s mouth.
It had been some time since Aldric last enjoyed the company of another man, and he forcibly quelled his impatience. He found it was always better to take one’s time in matters of sexual pleasure, so he focused on individual sensations: the feel of Lito’s weight on his lap, the sound of their kisses and Lito’s barely audible whimpers, the heady scent of aroused men, and the shocks of pleasure when their cocks touched.
 Lito dragged his fingernails along Aldric’s spine and pulled his mouth away. “You see, it pays handsomely to be outrageously bold.”
Such was not Aldric’s style, but he appreciated it in Lito. “Indeed, it does.” Then he put his mouth to work pressing kisses along his lover’s neck, which earned him a series of delightful moans. He enjoyed a vocal lover. Each noise served as a reward for his efforts and told him what his partner especially liked.
He leaned to lie flat on his back, taking Lito down with him. The weight of another man’s body atop his own excited him, as did Lito’s next enthusiastic round of kissing and rubbing.
When the artist next stopped kissing he said, “I do believe I spoke of what else I can do with my hands. I ought to demonstrate.”
“By all means.”
His fingers were as nimble as earlier, only now the quick motions danced around Aldric’s sac. “You are very talented,” said Aldric.
“I always endeavor for the best possible results.”
How fortunate for Aldric. He gasped as Lito took his cock in one hand while the other continued its tantalizing massage of his balls.
“It’s a benefit to bedding an artist.” Lito smiled, clearly pleased with Aldric’s reaction to his ministrations. “Well-trained hands combined with ceaseless striving for perfection.”
If one considered an orgasm perfection, Aldric was fast approaching it until Lito suddenly stopped and said, “I want to undo you, Aldric.”
He was about to remark that letting go of his cock was not a good way to achieve that goal, when Lito did something remarkable. He lowered himself down Aldric’s body and took Aldric’s cock in his mouth.
The sensation was so overwhelmingly wonderful that it took Aldric a moment to ask, “What are you doing?”
Lito paused, which was a great loss and made Aldric regret his question. “You don’t mean to tell me you’ve never done this?”
“I’ve never heard of taking a cock in my mouth.”
The artist’s eyes widened in surprise. “How dreadful. I must show you what you’ve been missing.”
Aldric decided he’d been missing a great deal.

Buy the book


About the author 

Some kids have imaginary friends. Not content with that, I dreamed up an imaginary village. I can't remember a time in my life where my head hasn't been full of stories, characters, and worlds, so it's no surprise that at a young age I decided I wanted to be a writer when I grew up.

I love writing as much as ever, though these days my stories feature hot guys falling in love and steamy man-on-man action. I strive for realism in all aspects of my work, so if you want your m/m romance with believable plots and relatable characters you've come to the right place.

Other ways to describe me: avid reader; chocoholic; historian; sci-fi geek; proud New Englander; koala lover; travel enthusiast.


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Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Read an excerpt from #PNR and #romanticsuspense as @amystearman visits with a #giveaway

ALTERED & TOUCHED
2 Independent Books
by Amy Stearman
ALTERED
Paranormal Romance
Unassuming law student Sadie Pratt leads a quiet life immersing herself in her books; outside of school, her only real form of excitement is researching the local flour mill and her link to its terrible history. That all changes one fateful night when her employer requests she meet with a mysterious client who will change her life in an unthinkable way.
Vincent Strickland has toured the country attempting to regain his holdings after serving a punishing sentence for his violent past. He is out for revenge when his path unexpectedly crosses Sadie's, who he believes is his former lover reborn. He will stop at nothing to possess her.
Fallen deity Thayer Aubade has dedicated his life to The Creed, a secret sect charged with protecting the innocent from monsters like Strickland. When his team is dispatched to rescue Strickland’s latest victim, the scene he discovers feels all too familiar and he vows he won't play by the rules this time.
Desire, possession, and treachery lead Sadie down a crooked path to redemption. She must rely on her intellect and inner strength for her survival... and for that of the man she loves.

Gathering all her courage, Sadie grabbed the railing and was about to swing her leg over when she heard very quietly in her ear, “Where do you think you’re going?”
She let out a cry of surprise and almost toppled over the railing. She hadn’t even heard him move. How?
“I didn’t give you permission to leave.” He was so close his breath tingled along her ear. Enough of this.
“I didn’t ask for it!” Sadie moved to push past him but his next comment stopped her in her tracks.
“We’ve not even broached the subject of you yet.” Cold tendrils of fear snaked around Sadie’s spine. “Look at me, Sadie.”
Slowly, reluctantly, she turned and craned her neck up to meet his eyes. And screamed.
TOUCHED
Romantic Paranormal Suspense
Carrie Walters has a special gift – she can read the history of any item she touches. Though not everything she comes in contact with has led a happy life, she’s built a successful business selling the ones that have. After a painful divorce, she’s anxious to begin rebuilding her life in the small mountain town she grew up in. But a chance encounter with a pocket watch - unremarkable to anyone without Carrie’s ability - teaches her that not only can everyday items hold bad memories, they can become infused with evil and malicious intent.
Soon, Carrie's life becomes embroiled in vicious attacks, vandalism, even a murder. With the help of Lucas Anderson, town sheriff, and her first love, Carrie must find whoever has possession of the terrible entity within the watch, and stop them before anyone else is hurt, all while learning how to trust and love again.
The moment she had it in her palm, she froze, and all the blood drained from her face.
“Carrie?” Luke reached out to touch her elbow. “You all right?”
She released the watch like her fingers were made of springs. It clattered to the floor and she stood staring down at it in horror, her hands trembling.
Luke increased the pressure on her elbow. “Carrie?”
She looked up at him as if she’d forgotten he was there, then seemed to shake herself. “I... I’m ne.” She gave him a weak smile. “Little tired, I guess. Long day.” But her eyes moved back to the watch on the ground.
Amy Stearman is an avid reader and writer of stories, hailing from the Midwest. She lives in the liberal mecca of Kansas with her husband, young son, and ornery Sheltie.
Amy holds her bachelors degrees in Human Services and Victim Studies, and a Masters degree in Social Work. That might sound pretty cool, but she accidentally ended up in marketing.
When she's not chasing her six year old or attempting DIY home improvement, she's jotting down story ideas and dreaming big.

Monday, September 25, 2017

New to #audiobook Always #romance from @LSJRomance Listen to a #teaser and enter the #giveaway

Always (Two Hearts, One Soul Duet: Book One)
Written by London Saint James
Narrated by Tor Thom & Charley Ongel
Listening time: 11 hrs 3 mins
Genre: M/F Contemporary Romance

International bestselling author London Saint James’ first installment from Two Hearts, One Soul Duet is the epic tale of abiding love, heart-wrenching loss, and an astonishing bond that will find a way to endure.

Winter Perri never truly understood love until she met Austin Carlyle—the man who would rock her world to its foundations and give her something to believe in. But the night before they were to be married, the fairytale shattered.

Thirteen years later Winter is pulled out of her seclusion only to have a painful past confront her, and when it does, she’s left questioning reality, because the impossible is looking back at her with the face of a destroying angel, and piercing eyes in too familiar shades of blue.

Listen to a sample On SoundCloud
You Can Find the Audiobook Here
Download for free when you sign up for an Audible 30-day free trial  



About London
London Saint James has lived in many places, but never felt ‘at home’ until she met the real-life man of her dreams and settled down in the beautiful Smoky Mountains of Tennessee. London lives with her husband and their fat cat who thinks he owns them.
As an award-winning, international bestselling author, London is living her childhood dream. She knew all the scribbling she did, that big imagination of hers, and all those clamoring characters running around in her head would pay off someday.
A complete list of London’s books can be found on her website http://www.londonsaintjames.com. You can also e-mail London with any questions or comments at London@londonsaintjames.com. She loves to hear from her readers.
Would you like to know more? Join her mailing list for her monthly newsletter http://eepurl.com/6P2on. Or, join her book group on Facebook, Slip Between the Pages with London at https://www.facebook.com/groups/SlipBetweenthePageswithLondon/
You can also find out more about London at the following locations:

GIVEAWAY
London is giving away a $50.00 Amazon e-Gift Card to one lucky winner. All you need to do to be eligible to win is enter the Rafflecopter below. **Giveaway runs from Sept. 17, 2017 to Oct. 17, 2017

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Not a Gentleman #historicalromance #teaser from @LoreenAugeri #giveaway tour stop

NOT A GENTLEMAN
by Loreen Augeri

Genre: Historical Romance


When Juliana Stevenson’s father dies under suspicious circumstances, her greedy uncle betroths her and her sister to vile men for his profit. They refuse to be part of his plan and flee, but her uncle hires an arrogant, demanding man to bring them back.

Needing money to care for his brother and sister and repair a manor in disrepair, Nicholas Blackstone agrees to find the women. He captures Juliana but not her sister and imprisons her in his manor until he can discover the whereabouts of her sibling.

Juliana’s body calls to Nicholas, but she can never be his — her life is already mapped out. Can they fight the passion pulling them together while her father's killer stalks them?


The small, warm form lay still below him. Had he killed her? No. Her ragged gasps penetrated his fear. Nicholas hadn’t meant to land so hard, but the aggravating chit deserved it. She held a gun on him and threatened to shoot!

But she was a woman, and a small one at that. He jumped off her, grabbed her arm, and hauled her to her feet.

“Let go…of…me.” She panted as she fought to catch her breath.

“Are you hurt?”

“I don’t…know. Probably. You pounced on me.” She fought to free herself.

He released her. “You had a gun.”

Miss Stevenson brushed the dirt from her bodice and skirt. “You tried to kidnap us.”

“I wasn’t kidnapping you. I was returning you and your sister to your uncle. He is worried about you.” He strode to one side of the cave and scooped up the gun lying beside the wall.

“He doesn’t care for us. His concern is how much money our marriages will bring him.” She examined her palm and winced. “We won’t go back.”

“He is your guardian.” He peered at her hands. “You cut yourself.”

She glared at him. “It’s your fault, and he’s not my guardian. I am of age.”

“Well, Miss Emily isn’t, and he wants you both. Where will your sister hide?”

“I have no idea.”

She walked away. This female who didn’t reach his shoulder actually walked away. He thought this job would be quick and easy, and he would soon be with his brother and sister with money to start repairing the crumbling estate he inherited, so he could return to the army where he belonged. Where exasperating women didn’t question his orders and answered when asked for information. He ran to catch up and grabbed her elbow. “Where are you going?”






I have always liked to read and write. As a child, I created stories featuring a young girl and her horse.

I started reading historical romances when my children were babies. When my youngest daughter started school, I decided I wanted to write one. At first, to see if I could, later as a hobby, and then seeking publication. Becoming a member of the Romance Writers of America, Hearts Through History, and my local chapter, New England Chapter helped in the process.

I live in the Northeast with my husband and two adult daughters and work in my local library. When I am not reading or writing, I enjoy walking, dancing, and spending time at the beach. I am the one under the umbrella, wearing a hat, sunglasses, and tee shirt over my bathing suit. I have my English and Irish ancestry to thank for my white skin that burns easily.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Guest author @erzabetbishop #romance #PNR news



Rapid Pulse:

Featuring New York Times, USA Today, and International bestselling authors, Rapid Pulse is a sizzling, diverse collection of hetero and same sex romance reads crafted to launch your heartbeat into high gear and drive your senses wild.
This collection's hot and sexy alphas know just how to send your pulse rate rising. Grab something cool and click now to dive in.

Amazon Smart URL: http://hyperurl.co/RPSetZ
Goodreads: http://bit.ly/RPSet




Arcane:
 New from USA Today bestselling author Erzabet Bishop! 
 Book #3 in the Curse Worker series!

Out September 26th!



Lies, betrayal, and maybe a battery-operated boyfriend...
She’s done with men. But someone needs to tell her wolf.
When Laurel’s Alpha female is found murdered and her Alpha turns up missing, the Briarwood Pack is turned upside down. An unwanted blast from Laurel’s romantic past puts her to the test as the fine line between love and hate is redefined. If she can keep herself alive. Love can be murder…unless it saves your life.
Nerdy, hunky boys with a knack for the dead need love too…
With his roommate back from the dead and his future as Montelier College of Witchcraft and Arcane Sciences new necromancer on staff on hold after his mentor’s murder, James Merryweather finds himself looking for answers in the one place he never thought to find them. And when a chance encounter leads him to his heart’s desire, will he have the strength to claim the woman he loves before she’s ripped from his arms forever?

Arcane Purchase Links:


Monday, September 18, 2017

Val and Pals #chicklit series .99 cent specials Margaret Lashley #giveaway tour stop

VAL & PALS series
by Margaret Lashley

Genre: Humor/Women's Fiction/Chick Lit

The first 2 books will be specially discounted to 99 cents on Sept 19th.

Absolute Zero: Misadventures From A Broad

A Midlife Meltdown...with a Side of Fries.

Val’s long-suffering life as a patient daughter, dutiful wife and reliable workhorse has turned her into a snarky, miserable nag.
She has the house, the husband and the career. The only thing missing is the happy.

Before she’s set out to pasture, Val wants one more go around the track. Unbridled. In Italy.

La dolce vita or bust. 

Will Val find her happy ending abroad? Or someplace she never thought to look? And will she get there before her money and her sense of humor run out...

If you've ever dreamed of ditching your life and running off to Europe, now’s your chance! Join Val on a roller-coaster ride through Europe that will leave you gasping! From gut-busting hilarity to gut–wrenching gaffs, finding yourself again is always worth the price of admission. Buy it now!


The plane came to a halt. A mechanical bell binged. I looked around nervously. I slung my purse across my shoulder and sardined myself into the line of passengers inching their way down the narrow aisle. When I reached the plane’s exit door, I paused hesitantly, like a convict who’d gotten free of her cuffs without anybody noticing. My mind swirled with excitement and abject terror. Goosebumps rushed across my body. The hair at the base of my neck pricked up like a scaredy-cat.

What the hell was I doing? 

Mere days before, I’d slammed every single door – including the screen one – on my life back in Florida. The last chance to change my mind had come and gone, as unheeded as a speed limit sign at a NASCAR rally. Every safety net I’d ever known was thousands of miles away, across the Atlantic Ocean, out of sight and out of reach.

I took a deep breath to steady myself, then stepped off the plane into the complete unknown. I glanced back and waved goodbye to the Air Italia flight crew. I turned again and meandered down the gangplank behind a frail, elderly couple holding hands. Their long-standing marriage triggered flashbacks of my own, long-suffering one.

Seven weeks ago, I’d signed the final divorce papers ending fifteen years of matrimony to Jimmy Johnson, a man I no longer knew. I envisioned the beautiful house Jimmy and I had shared together. I’d sold it and my advertising business just days before the flight. After splitting the pot with Jimmy, I’d netted a hot-damn jackpot of $473,000. I pictured my best friend, Clarice Whittle. I’d left my Ford in her garage, along with a few boxes that held the final remains of the cranky, resentful woman I hoped this trip would get rid of for good.

I’d brought next to nothing with me. I’d left even less behind. No kids. No pets. No job. No husband. No responsibilities. No nothing.

I’d spend the last forty-one years in perpetual motion – Val Jolly’s non-stop stint as dutiful daughter, long-suffering wife and brown-nosing business woman. I’d catered to everyone else’s needs for as long as I could remember. Somewhere along the way I’d turned into a crabby, shrill woman that even I didn’t like. I’d forgotten who I was and what I wanted. This trip was going be my R&R&R – relaxation, romance and re-invention.

I was in Italy to try my hand at living irresponsibly, like my trampy cousin Tammy Jeter. She’d always done as she damn well pleased. Up ‘til now, I’d thought she’d been selfish. Especially when she left Whitey Large and their five pit-bulls (One with puppies!) to run off with Tater Johnson. Turns out, that girl had had it right all along.



Available for only 99cents Sept 15-19


Glad One: Starting Over is a ...!

How Many Do-Overs Do You Get in One Lifetime?

One crazy old lady. Two gin & tonics. Three wacko beach-bum friends. Will Val's fourth stab at starting over add up to a big fat zero?

Val's down, but don't count her out just yet. Broke, but not broken (just seriously cracked), Val Fremden returns to her hometown of St. Petersburg, Florida to find everything she knew squashed under the heels of change.

With nothing left to go on but her own dry sense of humor and the life coach advice of a beer-guzzling old lady she meets at the beach, can her life get any crazier? Just wait.

Glad One is a satirical look at divorce, single-hood and climbing back up the social ladder. It's told through the eyes of a snarky, reluctant, midlife-crisis survivor who lost everything -- but regained herself.

Is there a light at the end of the tunnel for Val? Or is that just the headlamp of another train wreck heading her way? Knowing Val, it's probably both.

If you like wacky, deeply flawed characters and laugh-out-loud situations, you’ll love Glad One! It’s the second book in Margaret Lashley’s hilarious, irreverent Val & Pals Series of seriously funny women's fiction.


A puff of jaded air forced its way between my pursed lips like steam from a relief valve. I needed a good cry. But this was not the time or place for it. To distract myself, I started counting my blessings.

One decimated pocketbook. Two cottage-cheese thighs. Three maladjusted ex-husbands.... Crap! 

Whoever was running the show up there had a wicked sense of humor – and I was getting damn tired of being the punchline. I scrounged around for my powder compact and opened it, intent on repairing my makeup after the nine-hour flight. One glance in the mirror at my worn-out face made me snap it shut. Why bother? 

In forty-five years, I’d accumulated a good portion of wrinkles, a fair amount of belly fat, and, apparently, precious little wisdom. These questionable assets, along with $5,726 and a suitcase full of inappropriate clothes, were all I had left to launch my latest life makeover. I slumped back into my seat. I was bone-dragging tired. Even so, a wry grin snuck across my lips like a stolen kiss from a stranger. I was not defeated. Not yet, anyway.

The way I saw it, I still had two viable options. One, I could finally learn to laugh at myself. Or two, I could drink myself into oblivion. I fished around the bottom of my purse for a coin to determine my fate. I flipped a tarnished nickel into the air with my thumb. It did a triple gainer, plunged into my coffee, and splashed a nasty brown stain on the crotch of my white stretch pants.
Awesome. Let the festivities begin.

***

My last life makeover had begun over seven years ago, and had turned out to be a spectacular, downward spiral reminiscent of diving off a cliff with a bowling ball in my pants. Drowning in dullness and fueled by movie-inspired stupidity, I’d ditched a tiresome marriage and lucrative writing career, sold all my belongings and took off for Europe. In Italy, I met a German and fell in love with the idea of life with a stranger in a strange land. Things had been great for a while. But then the shiny wore off and the cracks showed up, like they always did.

On my arrival back in St. Petersburg, Florida, I’d discovered that seven wasn’t such a lucky number. In fact, seven years abroad had been just exactly long enough for my entire credit history to be erased – just like most of my money. I’d gotten off that plane with no driver’s license. No place to live. No credit card. No phone. No resume. And, worst of all, no friends. Incredibly, I’d somehow managed to become a foreigner in my own homeland.

As a lifelong lover of irony, I’d had to smile at my own ingenuity. How many other people on the planet could have claimed such a monumental fuck-up?



Available for only 99cents Sept 19-22


Two Crazy: Fickle Finger of Fate

The World is not a Safe Place for Figurines. 

When you’re pushing 50 with an industrial bulldozer, birthdays can be a bitch. What was intended as a gag gift for Val ends up making her gag all right – and lands her in a whole heap of trouble with the law.

With one hot cop on her tail and a mean one on her trail, Val turns to old friends and new ones to help prove she’s not into human dismemberment.

Who’s the good cop? Who’s the bad? And who’s the dwarf in the Halloween mask?

Will a pair of falsies help Val stumble onto the truth? If not, she’s got to rely on her wacky, beach-bum friends if she’s going to escape the fickle finger of fate.

Two Crazy is a satirical look at how life seems to take pleasure in screwing up all of our well-laid plans. It’s told through the eyes of a snarky, middle-aged woman with major trust issues and dubious, yet highly original coping skills.

If you like deeply flawed characters and laugh-out-loud situations, you’ll love Absolute Zero. It’s the third book in Margaret Lashley’s hilarious, irreverent Val & Pals Series of seriously funny women's fiction.


I woke the morning after my birthday party with a cop in my bed and a dead body in the kitchen. Okay, it was just a roach carcass. But I swear it was big enough to draw a chalk line around. It was legs-up in the middle of the floor. I’d fumbled, bleary-eyed, toward the cappuccino machine in nothing but Tom’s t-shirt, and had managed, of course, to step right on it. The disgusting crunch of its carapace underfoot made me scream like a little girl.

“Aaahhhh!”

As a native of the Sunshine State, I’d grown up learning to deal with the worst that Florida’s flora and fauna had to throw at me. Poison ivy. Cabbage-palm spikes. Daddy long-leg spiders. Fire ants. Kamikaze tree frogs. Ghoulish house geckos. Deadly rattlesnakes and cottonmouths. Even the occasional gator on the road or in a swimming pool. I’d managed to make my peace with all of them – except one.

Let a roach get anywhere near me – especially a flying one – and my bravado disappeared faster than Oreos at a Weight Watcher’s convention. When I’d stepped on that nasty bug, I’d let out a scream that could be heard on the International Space Station. If that marked me as a sissy, so be it. But there was something abhorrently primeval about a creature that could live for months without its own head.

“What’s going on in there!?”

Tom dashed into the room. He was naked except for his state-issued revolver. The sight of his tan, muscular body almost made me forget about my predicament. Almost.

“A roach,” I grimaced. I held up my foot like it needed stitches.

Tom grinned at me and shook his head.

“There appears to be no permanent damage. What happened to my fearless partner? Valliant Stranger?”

“Hey. Roaches are my kryptonite, okay?”

“Duly noted. I thought you put out some traps. Roach Motels, right?”

I took a paper towel off the roll and ran it under the tap. I bit my lip in disgust and wiped my foot. 
“Yeah, I did. I guess there was no room left at the inn.”

Tom sniggered. “Don’t those things come with ‘No Vacancy’ signs?”

“Very funny, Mr. Morning Sunshine. Can we please change the subject now?”

“Okay.”

A dirty grin crept across his face. Tom sidled up to me and put his hands on my hips.

“Have you got a vacancy that I can fill?”

I knocked his hands off of me.

“Geeze, Tom. I think that may go down in history as the most disgusting foreplay line ever.”

Tom scooped me up into his arms. His naughty grin deepened his dimples and crinkled the corners of his hypnotic, green eyes.

“Okay, how about this? I’ve got a gun, lady. Better do what I say.”

Both my hormones and my imagination went haywire.

“Now that’s something I can work with.”






Three Dumb: Wheelin' & Dealin'

Baloney and Cheesed.

They say three’s the charm. But charming isn’t Val’s style.

Val Fremden is a lot of things. Quirky. Jaded. Disaster prone. But more than anything, she’s afraid of commitment.

When boyfriend Tom tells her he loves her – then trades away her mom’s ashes for a tiki hut – Val’s just not feelin’ it.

On the warpath with Tom, Val’s forced to rely on her oddball friends to help track down her mom’s cremains. But three botched stakeouts and two disasters later, she still hasn't got peanuts. Through trial (but mostly error), Val discovers it's not easy to outwit a mobile master of disguise when she's stuck driving a paddy wagon full of nutcases.

She loves Tom...she loves him not. Knowing Val, she’s gonna need a bigger flower….

Three Dumb is a satirical look at how life, over time, changes our perception of love and the things we value. It’s told through the eyes of a snarky, middle-aged woman with legendary commitment issues and a gnawing reluctance toward romance.

If you like deeply flawed characters and laugh-out-loud situations, you’ll love Three Dumb. It’s the fourth book in Margaret Lashley’s hilarious, irreverent Val & Pals Series of seriously funny women’s fiction.


I’d spent Sunday evening alone, cooling down slowly, like the nuclear reactor at Chernobyl. I’d avoided a critical meltdown, and when I woke up Monday morning, I’d found myself on the verge of no longer being a lethal danger to other life forms.

After a cappuccino and a long, cool shower, at 8 a.m. I called Lefty’s Hauling again. It rang fifteen times, unanswered. This was, of course, totally unacceptable. It was time for Plan B.

I slipped on a sundress and sandals, put my hair in a ponytail and climbed into the red pleather driver’s seat of Maggie, my 1963 Ford Falcon Sprint convertible. With a little encouragement in the form of smashing her gas pedal to the floor, Maggie carried me north along Gulf Boulevard. The four-lane road, lined with two- and three-story beach resorts, skirted the Gulf of Mexico like stiches in a hem.

Year round, tourists flocked to the quaint mom-and-pop motels and sugar-white beaches. I couldn’t blame them. All-in-all, St. Pete Beach was a great place to be.

I turned east on 107th Avenue. Immediately, the salt air and kitsch beach shops disappeared, replaced with anywhere-USA strip malls. At 66th Street, I turned north in the direction of good-old Pinellas Park.

Every major metropolitan area had a section designated especially for rednecks. How they found each other, I didn’t know. Maybe they were all related, or there was some special redneck hotline I wasn’t privy to. At any rate, in Pinellas County, the mecca for country bumpkins and politically incorrect-and-proud-of-it folks was definitely Pinellas Park.

If it weren’t for Florida’s history of hurricanes and tropical storms, Pinellas Park would have choked to death on doublewide trailers decades ago. But in 1993, a freak storm took out all but the very highest quality manufactured homes. It had been dubbed the “1993 Storm of the Century” by some, the “’93 Super Storm” by others, and the “Great Blizzard of 1993” by the Yankees up north. But we locals simply called it the “No-Name Storm,” because it had come up so quickly and unexpectedly not even the weather forecasters had had time to register it with an official moniker.

It had begun on March 12th as a cyclonic storm in the Gulf of Mexico, then quickly grew into a beast that stretched from Cuba to Canada. It moved into Florida around midnight, catching us unaware with winds over 100 mph. It spawned 11 tornadoes and a storm surge in St. Pete that topped out at seven feet. For folks along the coast, bay and rivers, it had been devastating. It wiped out or damaged over 18,000 homes in the Sunshine State and killed 47 of our citizens, more than Hugo and Andrew combined. Suffice it to say, it was not a good time to be living in a tin can on wheels.



WHAT FOUR
November 7, 2017

Most Definitely Contains Nuts.

All Val wants is a quiet holiday away from her oddball family. But a promise pried from her lips earlier in the year has blown that wish out the henhouse window.

When Val and her boyfriend Tom arrive at her mother’s house in Hicksville, USA, the annual Family Fruitcake Competition is well underway. And there’s more than a few fruits and nuts in the running.

But the biggest contest is between Val and her mom.

As their battle of wills heats up, unexpected ingredients get thrown into both women’s batter. It may be time to call in a referee….

Who will get best in show? Who will get their just desserts? And will Val’s half-baked family turn out to be too much baggage for Tom to handle? Order a copy and find out!

If you like deeply flawed characters and laugh-out-loud situations, you’ll love What Four. It’s the fifth book in Margaret Lashley’s hilarious, irreverent Val & Pals Series of seriously funny women’s fiction.



Like the characters in my novels, I haven’t lead a life of wealth or luxury. In fact, as it stands now, I’m set to inherit a half-eaten jar of Cheez Whiz…if my siblings don’t beat me to it.

During my illustrious career, I’ve been a roller-skating waitress, an actuarial assistant, an advertising copywriter, a real estate agent, a house flipper, an organic farmer, and a traveling vagabond/truth seeker. But no matter where I’ve gone or what I’ve done, I’ve always felt like a weirdo.

As a child I lived in my own pretend world of tickling fairies and talking cats. I began writing when I found an ancient black typewriter on my grandparent’s back porch. (Inspired by my brothers, Boys are Stupid was my first masterpiece.)

I’ve learned a heck of a lot in my life. But getting to know myself has been my greatest journey. Today, I know I’m smart. I’m direct. I’m jaded. I’m hopeful. I’m funny. I’m fierce. I’m a pushover. And I have a laugh that makes strangers want to join me at restaurants. In other words, I’m a jumble of opposing talents and flaws and emotions. And it’s all good.

In some ways, I’m a lot like Val Fremden the main character in my Val & Pals Series. My books featuring Val are not autobiographical, but what comes out of her mouth was first formed in my mind, and sometimes the parallels are undeniable. I drink TNTs. I had a car like Shabby Maggie. And I’ve started my life over four times, driving away with whatever earthly possessions fit in my car. And, perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned that friends come from unexpected places.